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Posts tagged ‘intentions’

30 for 30s

But -- this I now know: The world is too amazing and this life is too short.

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Intentions

I've never been a huge fan of New Year's -- it just seems fraught with high expectations, over priced food and drink and a whole bunch of amateurs crowding the streets. And then everyone and their hermana reflects back on the past year, makes resolutions for the new year, then writes about it. Not for me. Maybe because it seems so arbitrary to me, versus the solstice, which actually is something.

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38.

I am not a fan of making resolutions at New Year’s. Maybe it is because I think that the new year should either be the solstice, or my birthday. Or maybe it is because it just seems like kind of a fake holiday – I mean, who says that it should be a 365 day year? What marks December 31st as the end of the year? Or maybe it is just because I am not a joiner – so I’ve never liked doing what everyone else is doing.

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Inspiration vs. Living the Dream

At the tail end of my adventures, I felt pretty sure of what I wanted. I wanted to keep trekking, keep traveling, keep alive the feeling in me -- the feeling of adventure and freedom and quenching my wanderlust

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Reflecting back, looking forward

Happy new year friends.

Nha Trang beach, where I brought in the new year

I have never been a huge fan of new year’s — seeing as it seems so artificial (why is this the new year?  being an east coaster, in the dead of winter, it is hard to feel like it is a new year) and it always carries such high expectations, which never seem to pan out exactly the way you hope.  Though, I do like the idea of making resolutions — or at least reflecting on your life in the past year and looking forward.

For me, this past year has been tremendous – from making the leap to buying my ticket, to planning this journey to setting into motion all the small things that got me here.  I am a planner – I love the work that leads up to the big event – so this year was great for me.  And then — I left and started the journey.  There were some hard moments, for sure, but thinking back on the past four months, I marvel on my growth, my perspective and how grateful I am.

reclining buddha at the pagoda in Nha Trang

I knew it would be good.  But — was it going to be one of those type 2 fun things?  You know, the things that are fun after the fact?  Or would it actually be fun in the moment.  I guess I have to say that there is both types of fun.  But – what has surprised me – is just how good it is.  Just how much I don’t want it to end.  Just how much I want to keep journeying and seeing and experiencing and meeting and …. living.

So – this past year has been about opening up – embracing the world and all of its amazingness.  And its messiness.  And its craziness.

So – this upcoming year?

Well, more of the same, right?  More living and experiencing.  More rambling and exploring, climbing and peak bagging, breathing deep and sitting quietly (thanks Ed Abbey).  But, to tell you the truth friends, i am feeling a little sad.  Because I know it will come to an end.  That this year it ends.  That my journey will end and I go back to my life before.  But, it won’t be the same, will it?  My world is so much bigger now.

boats in the harbor outside of Nha Trang

Last year, a friend suggested making some intentions for the new year around 3 different focuses (foci?) – personal, professional and health (or something like that).  Following an early morning run on the beach, I sat with coffee and thought about my intentions for this upcoming year.  I reflected on where I have traveled, and thought ahead to where I am going.  I definitely do not have it all figured out, but I also know that I have much more clarity than ever before.

Thank you friends, for being with me on this journey, for giving me courage when I was missing it, for celebrating my successes and reaching out when I was lonely.  I am so excited to share the next 4 and a half or 5 months with you (see — i am sad.  that seems so short!).  I am so grateful for you all.

How did you bring in your new year?

Buddha, overlooking the city

So why go?

Why leave a job I love, salary, benefits, kids and co-workers that challenge me and keep me laughing?  Why leave a community of friends and a living space that I adore?  Why leave the safety of what I know and feel comfortable with?

I have never been one to choose the easiest path.  When I was a senior in high school I moved to France to be an exchange student with only about two years of weak high school French under my belt.  Twice I have moved across country to places where I knew only one or two people.  And most recently, I moved to western Massachusetts to help open a school, not knowing anyone but the person who hired me.

But this feels different.  Friends love to make fun of me and my endless list making.  If nothing else, I am practical and pragmatic.  I love making lists.  I love planning for the future.  But now, all I know is that I will be traveling for 9 months.  I know there is no way to plan out all of the trip.  I cannot foresee every change that will come my way, every bump in the road.  Or what exciting adventures I will find out there!

This adventure is going to be a challenge.  I anticipate that I will see and learn and grow in endless, countless ways.  But really…. so why go?  Here are my reasons – both big and small.

1.  because it’s there.  Like Mallory, I want to go for the sake of going – for the adventure.  I want to see what’s out there.  I want to climb and trek and hike all over the world.

2.  I want to learn spanish.

3.  I love my job, love my work – but there is a whole big world out there – ready for me.  I don’t want to be that disgruntled teacher, going through the motions year after year.  I hope to return after this year fresh and ready to jump back into the hard work of teaching.

4.  There is so much cool stuff out there — I need to see it!  Being a biology teacher, I am continuously in awe of the world and natural wonders.  I cannot wait to see the Himalayas, the Andes, the beaches of Vietnam, Thai temples and Patagonia.