Aug 11
My job was to stay awake. But that was so hard.... between the jetlag and being up late and rising early, (oh, and being really good at falling asleep in the car), I kept nodding off. Fortunately, with my brother having fun driving his new toy car, and my need to press the brake on my side, it was probably better I nodded off.
Last weekend, I spent an afternoon wandering Greenpoint with a friend. Even though I am coming up on my one-year anniversary in NYC, there is still so much more to explore. I am finding my way around these days, and can somewhat navigate the subway system, but there is still so much more to explore!
As I pushed through the turnstiles, I saw the last lights of the train disappearing into the tunnel, the letter too distant to read. Was it the express or the local? How quickly could I get to my next meeting? It was one of those days when I wished I had an office, having spent the morning going from Chelsea to Midtown and now I was off to Crown Heights in Brooklyn before meeting a friend in Chinatown later. My to-do list wasn't shrinking as the day went on and I was just wishing for a few hours of focused work, which wasn't about to come my way.
'Wow, that's so brave', she remarked to me, after I told her I moved here only knowing one or two people. I chuckled to myself, thinking - 'oh, if only you knew!' I decided to not share all those times that I felt scared, felt less than courageous, in the last 10 months.
As I approach the one year anniversary of coming back to the states, there is a swirl of emotions and thoughts circling my mind. I read this quote the other day and it spoke to me - and my need to live full-whole-heartedly.
“Never touch anything with half of your heart. Be present, endlessly loving and compassionate towards others. Confront any challenging situation first with a deep breath. Wander....
In honor of National Poetry Month - and in honor of my favorite poet, Mary Oliver.
And in honor of the path that I am on.
The Journey
Last week when I wrote about making a list of what I am grateful for in this past year, a few folks asked about that list. So -- here is a portion of that list, in no particular order (the numbers are there just because I like lists, not because of priority).
38 things I am grateful for:
I am not a fan of making resolutions at New Year’s. Maybe it is because I think that the new year should either be the solstice, or my birthday. Or maybe it is because it just seems like kind of a fake holiday – I mean, who says that it should be a 365 day year? What marks December 31st as the end of the year? Or maybe it is just because I am not a joiner – so I’ve never liked doing what everyone else is doing.
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